LOVE--- it has always been agreed unanimously
as the single most treasured emotion in the world. Love is patient, love is
kind, we believe. Love makes everything beautiful, we believe. It is all that
is pure in the world, we believe--- after knowing of such a beautiful
existence, why does everyone appear to be so clueless as to how to attain it? Why
does it still feel like there is not enough love? Im assuming this is why..
The word ‘Love’ has been romanticized so badly
over the centuries that most of the gen x and y are megalomaniacs who wants
nothing lesser than a ‘la la land’ story to post in their Instagram stories.
But what’s alarming is, its just not the gen x and y..its almost everyone you
meet in your everyday life. Everyone wants grandeur and glitter to their
relationships. Be it friendship, sisterly or brotherly love, motherly love..i
mean like every relationship that exists.(don’t forget the pet-parent one).
Why has love become so larger than life? Why
has loving oneself reached either a narcissistic or self-annihilating level of
existence? And more importantly, why loving a fellow human being is to be
followed by a facebook post? And why does helping an old man in the street
deserve a selfie worthy of commendation?
All these thoughts and questions did not arise
over so many years.. it actually arose by observing the utter lack of Love for
oneself in the past few years. By oneself.. I mean the one TRUE self.
My questions are numerous ..but I haven’t found
a coherent answer to all of them. Its got to be very simple. Because I feel the
love everyday.. in every little happenings around me. Bit of a self-pompin’,
narcissistic thing to say..yes!Even
with it sounding so absolutely obvious, im unable to phrase it in a way to make
everyone understand it. It physically pains me to question the same thing over
and over.. “How do I make people intuit that loving oneself with all the
perfect imperfections is the only way to lavish out and embrace love?”
I watched a movie over the weekend called
Love,Simon. Its about a closeted high schooler coming out to the entire world.
Its getting pretty clichéd at this point. But there was something very hearty
and painful at the same time about this movie though. The protagonist has an
amazing squad and a very understanding fam. Even then , he holds back on his
orientation since he was 13. The ‘why’ part of this movie was what was
beautiful. It was not a tear jerking preamble to a lengthy tragic back story.
It was very simple. He wanted everyone to remember him by how he was supposedly
‘conceived’ over the yesteryears. The conceived image of him being this, very
handsome dude who is into football and girls. The image etched even with his
family. The twisted , scalding, paper-cut kind of pain to the heart he feels
every time he denies being ‘himself’ is..is the pain I see in every one of my
people around me. Everyone experiences a different kind of pain in coming out
as their true self.
The pain of becoming molecular in the eyes of
everyone. The pain of being dispensable or irrelevant in their friends’ contact
lists… the pain of standing in front of the mirror and telling yourself that
you will never be like your popular friend. Why has loving who you are become a
burden you carry every day? The more worrisome question is, ‘Why are you
ashamed of who you are?’
Black,white
,brown,fat,petite,straight,gay,transgender--and many many more..many more
things we are categorized into(im not even gonna talk of religion and caste
right now.that needs an entire blog for itself) More the names, the harder it gets
to breath in this society. All the negative feelings one carry is influenced by
only 2 things. One, thinking a lot about the ‘I ,ME, MINE’s’ and a lot lesser
about the ‘YOU,WE ,OUR’s..
The next
, more relevant for the current era, is presuming that ‘Reality’ is what is
bestowed right in front of your eyes! Reality to you has become a branding
exercise. A high end bike driving, gold dyed and blue lensed dandy looking
fella is the coolest and happiest guy. A beautiful selfie at every angle with
mild resemblances to a heroine MUST be the luckiest girl in the world…right?
You try to live their exaggerated faux life thinking that’s the Golden
Standard. You try to get better and better outside by losing all the love you
have for yourself inside.
Wishing to have a better image or a higher
self-esteem is never a sin. But believing that YOU in flesh and blood is NOT
the reality is the ultimate sin. Every action in TRYING to fit in this world , makes
you hate yourself more every single day. With hating your every action , you
are angry at every single person in your life. With all that hate and anger,
you self-destruct and consider the world your foe. And with the world as the
foe, you have no Love left to give or to be felt.
Bit dramatic, yeah! But definitely not wrong.
At this point I can tell you..put your phones
down, enjoy the rain, have a real conversation, admire a butterfly, feel more
beautiful inside or find love in everything you do. But its not that simple is
it?
Ours is a society that judges you the moment
you enter a bus..its not going to stop shaming you for who you are.. Hate will
be the only word you will hear. Hate in the name of religion, hate in the name
of color, hate in the name of everything you are BORN with. It will grow
difficult and difficult and difficult. It wont stop till you howl in your
bathroom with the water running.It wont stop until you reboot to the ‘Golden
Standard’.
But..you CAN evolve past all this! You can find
the subtleties of Love among all this Hate. You can feel alive and happy
anytime of the day. You can..only when you stop pretending to be of ‘Golden
Standards’ and start nurturing your own Standards.
Choose
your battles wisely..choose a battle which wins you love. Fight all your
insecurities your own way. Try to compartmentalize needs based on your
happiness quotient. Don’t expect a textbook or even your parents tell you how
to find yourself. But DO find yourself. Find a way to love yourself. Are you
being shamed for being an arrogant person? You don’t have to prove them wrong.
Just love your life as an introvert. BUT ..but if that comment affects you,
work your way to become the firecracker of the group…ONLY if the comment
demands a self-realization. If you know who are… just laugh at their face.
Don’t be afraid..NEVER be afraid to find out
who are you! when you know who you are..you will appreciate the differences and
uniqueness of everyone. Surround yourself with people who knows who you are..
if you find a friend bringing negativity to your thoughts, avoid them. When a
person looks down on another human being based on their birth or their
appearance, don’t stand there awkwardly smiling..give them a piece of your
mind!
Break the golden standards! Define love with
your own rules.
Love is not an exuberant entity available to a
very few.
So just be unashamedly you! THAT is what makes
you glow. And the warmth of your loving glow is all that the world needs.
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